The Big Daddy Of Big Data: U.S. Appoints First-Ever "Chief Data Scientist"

Due to the vast influx of intelligence from many forms of modern media, treasuring our data technology is now a job that requires a major position in the United States government.  Meet America's chief cyber crusader, D.J. Patil...

Patil's official title is the extravagant "Chief Data Scientist and Deputy Chief Technology Officer for Data Policy." That's a lot of data. According to, however, Patil has been well prepared to upload the job thanks to stints at LinkedIn, eBay, PayPal, Skype, and Greylock Partners (a venture capital firm.) He also worked with the Department of Defense in anticipating threats via social media analysis. Yes, America, this man is handling a fistful of your stats.

"Wow, around Valentine's Day you stalked a LOT of exes on Facebook."
-D.J. Patil
(Image courtesy

Patil's official position puts him in the Office of Science and Technology Policy, with US Chief Technology Officer Megan Smith as his boss. His major current plan is to work on applying information gleaned from many of the "big data" sources, particularly focusing on the healthcare system.

Smith downplayed the insidious nature of a now-official cog in the machine who tends to the rivers of possibly ill-gotten "big data" that flow through the minds of our supposedly "innovative" government. She stated today on the White House's blog that, "Across our great nation, we’ve begun to see an acceleration of the power of data to deliver value. From early open data work by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), which provides data that enables weather forecasts to come directly to our mobile phones, to powering GPS systems that feed geospatial data to countless apps and services — government data has supported a transformation in the way we live today for the better."

We'll see about that. Of course, they'll see first, because they have a Chief Data Scientist.

Knowledge is facts, wisdom is application, and big data is all the hard evidence.
(Image courtesy

Patil's experience is not a singular one: other techies of his Silicon Valley ilk are also currently helping revamp the federal government's IT and intelligence collection/analysis methods. It seems we can only hope that they actually have the nation's best interests and security in mind, unlike other agencies who seem to mostly enjoy trolling for your nudies (HI NSA!  DID YOU LIKE THE VALENTINE?)

Some more data from Big Data.  And there's lots more where that came from.
(Image courtesy

The government's significant investments in "big data" matrices need oversight, and Patil is watching it all. He will also be advising on tech policy and practices, so this could be the man to blame if your electronic privacy continues to be violated (spoiler alert: they're not stopping, they're just making it look better.)

SOMEONE had to handle this insane amount of intel.
(Image courtesy

And make no mistake, this is not just a job to Patil...he loves what he does, and wants you to love him for it too. In 2012, Patil declared “data scientist” as the sexiest job of the 21st century in a co-authored Harvard Review article.  His life's mantra?  "If you can’t measure it, you can’t fix it.”  Well, now he can measure everything.  But how are we going to know what's getting whom...and why?  Maybe the American public need some other, more impartial data scientists of our own...perhaps a system of techs and balances?

This is D.J. Patil.  No need for any more introductions, he already knows everything about you.
(Image courtesy

No comments:

Post a Comment