Showing posts with label romantic technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romantic technology. Show all posts

Shifty Ways To Leave Your Lover: New Service Slings Breakup Texts For You

So, Valentine's Day was just about a month you now rue the one you wooed?  Still need to kick your winter covers-buddy out from under the comforter and make them face the harsh, lengthening daylight in which you will not continue to require their snuggling services (at least until it gets cold again?)  However, are you a pussy who can't break up with someone to their face, and needs a tech-inclined service to do it for them?  Well, look no further, you lamentable lover.

He's texting an internet company how much he hates you right now.
You should go.
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Can You Feel The Love Tonight? If Not, Try This New Dating Site For Disney Fans

Are you searching for a very special kind of romantic partner? Someone who will show you a whole new world, be part of your world, and create something there that wasn't there before?  Now, there's a weirdly-specific website for that.
"I love you toooooo."
But only if you're a crazy enough Disney fan to be able to translate Elliott the Dragon's brrrp-speech.
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Mature Content: New "Companionship" App For The Elderly

Our current senior citizens were raised in an era with typewriters and telegrams, and now, they can add another newfangled technology to their (long) lives:  a hookup app.

Go out with a bang.
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A Wonder For Down Under: New Kegel Exerciser / Videogame App (Seriously)

Ladies, we know that "playing with yourself" is not the most delicate way to describe an aspect of maintaining healthy sexual function, but in this case, it's the literal truth...

We also know it's uncouth to steal other publications' headline imagery,
but the Britons really nailed this one.
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Tracked In The Sack: New High-Tech Wristwatch Delivers Your Sexual Stats

Technology has the amazing ability to provide us with abundant, seemingly boundless amounts of information.  Sometimes, that also includes too much information.

"Hey baby...set me to LOVE MODE."
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Freedom For Threesomes: New App Finds Hookups à Trois

Everyone's heard of (or been involved in) an online romance that, despite the impersonal initial interface, works out for the best. Now, you can use an app to add to such notions of a little extra...

Get extra cozy this winter.
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To Have And To Hold And To Hack: Cheaters' Website Info Held Hostage

Cheating on your spouse is probably a really bad idea.  Cheating on your spouse and leaving a cyber trail which will be inevitably hackable seems like you're just asking to get caught...

This gets even worse when your wife learns the person on the left is a dude...
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Want A Better Future? This Break-Up App Might Help...

When Paul Simon wrote his classic song, "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" back in 1975, smartphones had yet to be invented.  However, had he written it recently, he could have included a line to the effect of, "Just tap on the app, Chap..." as one of the means of easily escaping a failed romance...

Granted, breakups have been brutal throughout all of recorded history...
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FALL IN LOVE, CITIZEN! New State-Run Iranian Dating Service Demands Romance

With birth rates declining and singles growing ever older, the nation of Iran felt it needed a boost in the developing-world department.  And what better way to grow as a people than to coerce them into procreation via a state-run dating network?

Likes: longs walks in the desert, not talking too much, and being submissive to religious law...
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Ad Asstra Per Aspera: Will Space-Based Pornography Blast Off?

For everyone who has ever marveled at the sight of a rocket launch, or enjoyed the victorious thrill of watching a moon landing or spacewalk, we know that the excitement of space travel is deeply ingrained in the human psyche.  Even just checking out pictures from space (or reading Space Station Sunday) can encapsulate some of that enticement.  Now, the spirit of space adventure and another popular pasttime - porn consumption - are teaming up to go where no man (and woman) have gone before.

Like it or not, these two may make some very hot history.
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Multi-Partnered? Handle All Of Your Hookups With New "Poly Life" App

Is one love not enough for your life?  Do you prefer the company of numerous committed partners despite society saying that such relationships are unrealistic, inappropriate, or greedy?  Now, you can navigate the sexy sea of polyamory with a new app designed to provide simple solutions for keeping your complex love life in line.

If you can't even remember all their names, how are you going to remember whose date night it is?
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According to, an anonymous developer has created the Poly Life app to focus on two important polyamorous goals:  meeting new people and scheduling when you can sleep with them.  Separate calendars can be created for each partner, and the "relationship manager" feature keeps careful tabs on who you deem an emotional partner, a physical partner, and any variations in between.

"No, don't shoot him with a heart-capturing arrow.  Just shoot him with a 'brain and also those hot biceps'-capturing arrow."
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The social networking element of the app is designed to allow poly couples or prospective poly enthusiasts to meet each other and discuss the nature of their lifestyle outside of the judgmental (or jealous) conventional social media outlets.  Shareable to-do lists, group texting options, meetup location ideas, and other important organizational elements are also included.  And with more than one lover, you'll likely need all of them.

The Poly Life is available for iOS, though unfortunately it is not polyamorously compatible with Android as well.  But if you need serious planning for your "polycule" circle of special friends, this is much more efficient than wearing name tags at an orgy.

And in a few years, perhaps you'll be able to use Poly Life to sync all of  your sex robots!
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If You Only Have Something Nice To Say, Say It On The Outpour App

Privacy on the internet is an important and valuable commodity, even for those who claim they have "nothing to hide."  Though arguments on privacy frequently focus on the idea of not having to worry if you're not doing anything wrong, what if you're interested in remaining private because you're doing something wildly (and possibly uncharacteristically) nice for someone?

It's not always as hard as you think it might be.  Even if it is, your discovery and notation of it increases its value.
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Enter a new app, Outpour.  As reported by, Outpour abets those who would like to deluge someone in positive comments but can't quite say them to their face or their facebook.  When freedom of expression just needs a new method of expression, Outpour steps in so you can brighten someone's day with a nice note, sans your name.  The idea is to spur people to say something sweet that they might otherwise have left bottled up, like so much maple syrup that could never saturate your mental pancakes.

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Yes, it could be used for evil, but the design is based against that.  One would have to specifically seek out their victim's profile and consciously ignore all other nice messages before violating the "social norm" of the site with their message.  For those who would buck that norm, their rantings can be deleted by the user, and the vitriol-spewer's account may be blocked.  Numerous blockings could result in a site-wide ban.  A unique phone number is required for sign-up, to prevent multiple accounts.

Outpour is available for iOS, with web and Android versions arriving next year.  So if you're not near enough to someone to send a drink down the bar, or if you're not close enough to know where to send them a card, Outpour could help bring some small, secret joy with just a few keystrokes.  How sweet.

Anonymous love is still love.
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Snuggle Up To New Hug-Hunting App, "Cuddlr"

Aw, there there. Does someone need a hug? Well, now instead of dealing with the peskiness of generating affection from any conventional source, a new app will help you get held, nicely (but nonsexually.)

According to, the new app Cuddlr is "a location-based social-meeting app for cuddling." You read that right. Not relationships, not hookups, just hugs. It requires users to be 17+ (to presumably prevent statutory hugging) and is currently available on iOS (their Android release is set for 2015.)

Creator Charlie Williams feels that he is fulfilling a yet-unexplored social connection gap, explaining, "We don’t have a space for this in our culture...there’s not a way to have physical affection that isn’t tied to sex. I think there should be. Not with any random person on the street, but perhaps with some carefully selected random people? Definitely."

Prospective embracers can try out "test cuddles" to see if they're down with random snugglers, and frequent users can earn "reputation points" for the security and quality of their hugs.

Shh, there there. Feel better now? Oh ok, one more time. That's right, hug it out. It'll be okay.

Don't get so desperate that you end up hugging tigers.  Use Cuddlr instead.