EFF's "Stupid Patent Of The Month" Aims To Raise Awareness, Public Shaming

Activist group the Electronic Frontier Foundation hates patent trolls, and now, they're using some good old fashioned public shaming to deter the onslaught.

Patent trolls, which are companies that do little more than file unnecessary patents or sue over ones already in existence, have long been an issue. Now, thanks to EFF's "Stupid Patent Of The Month", maybe the trolls will think twice before coming out from under their bridges.

According to arstechnica.com, August's inaugural "Stupid Patent Of The Month" went to US Patent No. 8,762,173, which was granted in June and titled “Method and Apparatus for Indirect Medical Consultation.” Basically, it's exactly what a doctor's secretary would do...except via computer. EFF lawyer Vera Ranieri summarized the now-patented peculiarity as follows:

"a. take a telephone call from patient
 b. record patient info in a patient file
 c. send patient information to a doctor, ask the doctor if she wants to talk to the patient
 d. call the patient back and transfer the call to the doctor
 e. record the call
 f. add the recorded call to the patient file and send to doctor
 g. do steps a–f with a computer"

Step "g" was the one that made the patent valid. So yeah...not exactly as innovative as laying claim to the lightbulb or wireless router.

In case the patent-powers-that-be missed the point, Ranieri concluded her analysis by explaining, "This is a stupid patent...Somehow, something that wasn't patentable became patentable just by saying 'do it with a computer.'"

EFF's "Stupid Patent Of The Month" is augmented by their 10-year "Patent Busting Project", which is still in effect and aims to revoke patents so ridiculous that they are wanted for "crimes against the public domain." So before you go trying to patent your signature new method of tying your sneakers or taking selfies while posing with iguanas or whatever, just remember the EFF may (rightfully) call you out.

THIS IMAGE IS UNDER LICENSE.
(Just kidding, EFF.)

Rosetta Spacecraft Reaches Comet, Sends Back Cool Postcards

After ten years and over three billion miles of travels, the Rosetta spacecraft has entered the orbit of its comet destination, and all reports currently show the mission progressing as intended.

Braking 62 miles over the surface of comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, the Rosetta is set to inform humanity on many new discoveries, possibly even helping us understand how life developed on Earth. The oddly-shaped comet (referred to as a "rubber ducky" shape by some researchers) is the first to be this intricately analyzed.

As reported by newswatch.nationalgeographic.com, one of the Rosetta mission’s principal investigators, Holger Sierks of the Max Planck Institute for Solar System Research, stated, “Today, we are opening a new chapter of the Rosetta mission. And already we know that it will revolutionize cometary science.” Sierks was impressed with the level of detail from the photographs of the comet's icy, rocky comet surface.

A 220-pound lander named the Philae is set to descend from Rosetta and land on the comet on November 11th, the first such attempt in history. The Philae will be anchored by harpoons and in addition to photography, will be able to take drill samples and other scientific readouts of the comet's composition.

Rosetta will remain in 67P's orbit for the next year, hovering as low as six miles to create topographical maps of the crater-flecked comet's surface. As 67P rounds the sun, icy elements in its geology will melt, and the subsequent geographical changes will be noted.  The comet is visible to the naked eye, but watching the Rosetta blog might be easier.

A closeup of 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.  Image courtesy THE SPACECRAFT WE'RE LANDING ON A FREAKING COMET.

Care You Can Wear: Wearable Disease-Hunting Sensor In Development

Like it or not, wearable technology is going to be more and more of a presence in the future. Soon, our gadgetry may be able to directly help humanity in a new and very useful way: wearable tech that can identify diseases.

According to phys.org, a team at the University of Michigan has been developing a wearable vapor sensor that interacts with the body's chemical elements to identify issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, anemia or lung disease. Chemical signatures of compounds like acetone or nitric oxide could tip the wearer off to impending health issues.

Using graphene, the sensors can detect anomalies in molecular quantities as small as a few parts per billion. This could be useful not only for disease threats, but also for monitoring chemical leaks in a lab environment, or assessing a location's air quality.

Team member Zhaohui Zhong, an associate professor of electrical and computer engineering, said, "With our platform technology, we can measure a variety of chemicals at the same time, or modify the device to target specific chemicals. There are limitless possibilities."

As for your healthcare a'la carte, such devices may soon become ubiquitous. The wearable tech market, including devices like Google Glass, is expected to surge to $14 billion dollars' worth of revenue in the next four years.

Is the battery dying...OR AM I?

Only Happy When It Rains? New Indoor Thundercloud Simulates Storms, Streams Songs

Some days you might feel like a little black raincloud is hovering over you at all times.  Thanks to a new invention, this sensation may be one you'll grow to enjoy.

For those who appreciate the chaotic coolness of a thunderstorm, a small-scale (and rain-free) version is now available to hang in your home.  The Smart Cloud is alternately a piece of art, a lighting device, and a stereo system.  According to foxviral.com, the realistic-looking cloud simulates all the bells and whistles (claps and booms?) of a thunderstorm using powerful speakers to achieve its effects.

The Smart Cloud is also equipped with a motion sensor to soundtrack a storm in synchrony with whatever you're up to, which could make things very interesting for your next romantic rendezvous.  If you tire of the natural noises, the Smart Cloud also operates via Bluetooth to stream your music collection.

A remote control is included, if you just want to kick back and play Zeus.  The Smart Cloud currently retails for $3,360.

Cue AC/DC's "Thunderstruck."

Robot! Another Round! Honda's Asimo Pours Drinks, Plays Soccer, Dances Better Than You

He can strut, jump around, play soccer, and gloat when he wins.  He can serve you drinks and dance, even (kind of) moonwalk.  He's like lots of other 28-year-olds...except he's a robot.

Honda's Asimo, the product of nearly 30 years of robotics development, recently showed off a few new skills for autoexpress.co.uk.  Alongside their reporter, Asimo played soccer, boogied down, and served a drink using the 30 degrees of control in his dexterous, multi-jointed plastic fingers.

Asimo, which began as a pair of robotic legs that Honda eventually trained to master the human gait, is an acronym for "Advanced Step Innovative Mobility."  Overall Asimo's body contains 57 independent degrees of control.  Asimo's onboard sensors, cameras, and stabilizing elements are designed specifically to interact with human users.

Now they just need to install a file full of jokes and life advice, and Asimo could begin replacing bartenders worldwide, or at least become the hot new choice in domestic servitude.  That's right humanity, you've finally found a partner who will listen to all of your problems, dance with you AND happily fix you drinks!

Rock on, Asimo.

It's Thermoelectric, Boogie-Woogie: New Compact Device Heats Water; Charges Devices

In case of emergency, or even just in case of a camping trip, it's important to have your gear as compact and efficient as possible.  The new Kettlecharge device by BioLite serves the dual purpose of providing potable water and electric charge.  

According to Gizmodo.com, all the Kettlecharge requires is a controlled source of heat to boil the water in the pan, and its thermoelectric charger will reap 10W of energy, accessible by plugging in your power cord or USB.  A special heat-resistant USB extender is included so that your smartphone doesn't take a spa dip.  The Kettlecharge is operational indoors or out, making it ideal for power outages as well as doomsday scenarios.

But will it be enough to charge the chainsaws before the zombies can get you?

Just because you're off the grid doesn't mean you're past civilization.

'Bots On The Docks: Super-Strength Exoskeleton For Super-Sized Shipbuilding

If you've ever wanted superhero strength but don't even like hitting the gym, a new invention may help give you a little extra lift. A robotic exoskeleton, developed for the heavy-lifting laborers of the shipbuilding industry, can heft up to 30 extra kilograms when donned by a human.

According to NewScientist.com, the 28-kilogram frame of carbon, aluminum alloy and steel uses a variety of hydraulic joints and electric motors to allow the wearer to heft extra-large loads. The suit encompasses much of the human form, beginning with footpads and spanning the length of the body with supports, straps and connections to enable the labor. A backpack-mounted unit powers the device.

Individualized components, such as a small crane that would aid in lifting by jutting out over the wearer's head, are also able to interconnect with the exoskeleton. According to South Korean scientist Gilwhoan Chu, the lead engineer for Daewoo Shipbuilding and Marine Engineering, "Our current research target of the lifting capacity is about 100 kilograms." Current problems with the prototype include stability issues on slopes and slippery surfaces, as well as a need for more rotational capability. Still, the prototype is already useful, and will grow ever more so.

Created by Daewoo Shipbuilding and Marine Engineering, the suits will aid the shipbuilding company in their next major endeavor. Daewoo, one of the world's largest shipbuilders, is under contract from shipping magnates Maersk to build 10 massive shipping freighters, 400 meters long and able to bear 18,000 shipping containers apiece. If effective, this may continue a trend already in place: at one South Korean shipyard assessed by the U.S. Navy, 68% of operations were completed by robots.

I AM IRONMAN.